S1:E22 – The Fisher King Part 1

Content notes: murder, blood, stalking, home invasion, workplace bullying


Deep breath.  Ok, here we go on these Fisher King episodes.  There’s a lot going on here so these recaps may be pretty long.  Fasten your seat belts, people!

We open on a mysterious old stone house with a lighted upstairs window and scary music.  We see a young, blonde white woman sleeping, and a creepy hand reaches out to touch her hair, then pulls out a knife.  Yikes!

Cut to the BAU and the team discussing their vacation plans.  Morgan and Elle are going to a resort in the tropics somewhere that Morgan’s friend owns.  Morgan notes that the entire team is on vacation the same two weeks so that they can all relax and not get sucked into work.  Reid is mumbly and tense, and says he is going home.  Hotch is excited that he gets to spend two weeks with his family at home, and Gideon is off to a cabin in the woods, saying “don’t call me for anything.”

Cut to a mysterious array of objects, and photos of the BAU team, and the scary hand picking up a telephone, then turning on an intercom.  The camera scrolls down through the floors of the creepy old house, and we see the young blonde woman chained to a bed in a basement/dungeon room, while the voice says it will all be over soon.  She wakes up and starts screaming and pulling at her chain, then breaks down crying.  Credits.

L. Ron Hubbard quote about vacation, as we see blue water, white sand, and attractive multi-ethnic men and women frolicking on the beach while Elle and Morgan observe from beach chairs.  Elle is wearing a bracelet on her arm above her elbow?  What a weird beach accessory.  Morgan goes off to hit on some ladies and Elle goes off with an attractive, muscular white dude to play frisbee.  He get lots of shirtless Morgan, which I would feel sad about depriving you of even though my laptop is really struggling today:

s1e22 morgans1e22 morgan2

Meanwhile Hotch and Hayley are clearing out the garage, joking about the time they were in Pirates of Penzance or something in college.  At his cabin, Gideon cooks while listening to big band music, looks like pasta with artichokes.  He checks his video surveillance and smiles at the car on its way up the drive.  Garcia is still at the BAU, but is playing video games when JJ walks in.  She almost definitely should not be doing that.  JJ says she isn’t on vacation at the same time as the rest of the team, alas.  Garcia explains MMPORGs to her, and tells her about her online buddy/boyfriend/something.  

Cut to what we are told is “Bennington Sanitarium” in Las Vegas.  Isn’t sanitarium a pretty outdated word?  Anyway, Reid is visiting his mom but is a bit nervous about talking to her, so checks in with the doctor first.  Reid apparently writes her every day, and we learn his mom brags about him to all the other patients.  Reid is adorable and tragic and troubled, and he runs away before he can say hi, giving a book to the doctor to give to her.  Poor punkin.

s1e22 reid

Back at the resort, Morgan and Elle hook up.  It’s kind of gross honestly?  Like watching your sister get it on or something.  Hotch and Hayley finally have some alone time after the baby goes to sleep and reminisce.  They also start to make out and now it’s like watching your parents do it.  Gideon has a lady over too, ye gods.  Hotch and Hayley are now nekkid and snuggling on the couch, when the phone rings.  It’s a mysterious call from a weirdly-voiced stranger with cryptic information about victims and keys and clues and whatnot.  Weird!  Back in Jamaica, the resort owner tells the cops about an anonymous tip about a murder, and the cops go into the room to find blood just absolutely everywhere and a dead body!  Garcia’s whole system at the BAU is getting hacked apparently by Jack Torrance.

s1e22 garcia

Gideon and his lady are now making out so probably something bad is going to happen. Gideon’s surveillance system beeps and he sees a delivery truck coming up the drive.  He grabs his sidearm and tells his lady to wait in the bedroom.  He signs for a box and an envelope, the envelope says “SAVE HER,” and contains a baseball card.  The box contains………..A HUMAN HEAD!  Nice.

The cops in Jamaica drag Elle out of bed and handcuff her, and she is understandably upset.  It looks like maybe the body was in her suite and she was in the bedroom?  Not sure.  Gideon sends his lady friend home in the bleak light of dawn, and we learn the package is from Jamacia!  Something is up!  Elle is being questioned by the cops, who understandably think she killed the guy in her room, and Elle is kind of pissed off.  Someone wrote “SAVE HER” on the wall of her room in blood.  Morgan tries to convince the cops that Elle didn’t do this, and says Hotch is on his way.  The resort owner says that the victim checked in with a man named Frank Giles, who had the adjacent room, but when they go in, the room is empty.  Morgan calls Garcia who admits she’s been hacked, and she is Pissed Off.  

Gideon arrives at the BAU and gets updated by JJ.  Meanwhile, Elle is still being interrogated.  Hotch and Morgan come in and they tell the cop that the body was dead for longer than Elle was in town.  Elle is free to go.  She is still wearing that arm band thing, which means she had it on in bed, which is super weird.  JJ finds a mysterious package in her office!  It contains a framed butterfly with the words “She has been searched for but never found” on it.  Meanwhile, Reid arrives at the sanitarium and one of the nurses said he has a delivery!  Something is very definitely Going On!  It’s a small envelope with a key in it, and a note that says “she will die unless you save her, Dr. Reid.  Call Gideon.”  JJ shows Gideon her butterfly and he says “what the hell is going on here?”  

Cut to the blonde, who now seems to be quite ill, coughing on her bed.  Uh oh!

Elle, Morgan, and Hotch are back at the BAU.  JJ tracked Frank Giles, a career criminal, who is now in Virginia.  We learn that the other victim, from Elle’s room, is also a career nasty guy. Hotch updates them on the mysterious phone call, which told him the “first two victims were unrepentant bad men.”  The team convenes to discuss the clues they have received.  The team is baffled by the series of clues and what it all means.  Gideon’s baseball card and JJ’s butterfly have deep personal significance to them, and obviously the unsub knows where everyone is, but Garcia tells them the hacker could have found them through her hacked database.  She also admits that he could have found his way in through her online game, which she was playing on her laptop but was hooked in wirelessly to the bureau’s system.  Everyone is understandably frustrated at her, but Gideon calls her stupid, which seems incredibly mean as well as unprofessional.  Of course these dumbdumbs don’t give one single shit about professionalism so ok.  This fucking guy.

Anyway, Garcia says she traced the hacker and it’s Frank Giles in Arlington, VA!  Exciting music and cars screeching around corners!  The team and SWAT enter a decrepit apartment building, and bang down the door to what turns out to be a totally empty apartment except for…… A body with a fucking giant sword in it, with the words “here is where your quest doth truly begin.”  Morgan, speaking for all of us I presume, says “you have got to be kidding me.”

The dead guy is indeed Frank Giles, and there’s a bag of money on the dresser.  The team brainstorms about what all of this could mean, who this guy is, and what he’s trying to communicate to them.  One of the crime scene techs realizes there’s words etched on the blade of the sword with a clue that they need to leave the sword till the hour be none.  The team is kind of annoyed by the weird Indiana Jones clues.  Reid arrives and clarifies that the hour being referenced is probably 3pm, not midnight, and they use a spotlight to cast a shadow from the sword, and find a hollow spot in the wall that contains a box.  The box is locked, and Reid uses his clue key to open it.  It’s a music box with a slip of paper that says “never would it be night, always a clear day.”  Under the lid is a DVD and a lock of blonde hair, eep.  The CD says “thy quest” in sharpie.  

Back at the BAU, they play the DVD, which shows a shadwy figure with a limp in an ornately-decorated room, explaining how the blonde girl’s life depends on them, and he tells them that only the members of the team may participate in the quest.  He tells them they’ll need a book to complete the quest as well.  Hotch suggests they start trying to figure out what all the clues mean, and the team and I are kind of surprised that they’re willing to play this wacko’s game.  Gideon storms off because of course he does.  Communication and professionalism are for people who aren’t geniuses, people!  

Hotch follows him to his office, and Gideon expresses exhaustion and dismay that his secluded, private cabin was found, and his privacy was violated by this guy.  That’s understandable.  He says he wants to be alone, and Hotch leaves, again, because professionalism are not necessary for geniuses.  Hayley and the baby arrive at the BAU at that moment, with an envelope that was delivered to their home!  Hotch and Gideon interrogate Hayley, who says that it was just a regular delivery guy with no injury or limp, and that he told her a girl’s life depended on it.  Gideon notes that this is nonstandard behavior from a FedEx guy.  The delivery was a piece of paper with numbers on it, which the team is working on.  Reid notes that with the clue about the book, it may be a book code — each set of numbers represents a page, paragraph, line, and word.  The only thing is, they don’t know which book, and don’t know what edition the book would need to be for the code to work.  JJ informs them they have a hit on the hair, which belongs to a girl who’s been missing from Boston for two years.  

Gideon tells Hotch he wants to have Hayley sit down with a sketch artist and broadcast the photo of the delivery guy to the world, deliberately flaunting the rule laid down by the unsub.  JJ gives the press conference and we cut to the unsub watching, who gets really mad.  Meanwhile, Reid and Morgan are trying to figure out what book it is.  Elle has fallen asleep on the couch, and Hotch comes in to send her home.  I’m sure the rest of the team is as tired, no?  Anyway, we get an alt rock song by a band called Opeth who is apparently trying to be Tool, and Shazam tells me the song is actually called “Death Whispered a Lullaby.”  This is a real thing in the world, people.  As the music swells, we see the members of the team working, see flashes of the Clues, see Elle arrive at home, and see a shadowy figure point a gun at Elle!!!  “I told you, there was one rule” he says in his scratchy voice, getting more and more angry, and as Elle reaches for her gun we cut to black!  

I really kind of love these episodes even if everything about them is about one million percent unrealistic in terms of, well, everything.  I love these types of mysteries, with clues to follow and puzzles to solve.  I do kind of wish I could enjoy these episodes more, but the disappointing endgame really makes it tough.  Anyway, stay tuned for part 2, which has lots of Angsty Reid in it!  

Reid’s Hair Floppiness Rating: holding steady at a 3 out of 10 or so.  Dry shampoo, Reid.


1 Comment

  1. I agree. As long as I have enough clues from the beginning to suspend my “this is how the real world works (kind of)” expectations, I love the unlikely convoluted mysteries.

    And thanks for shirtless Shemar Moore. The character may be a mixed bag, but the actor is a definite hunk.


%d bloggers like this: